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Archive for March, 2011

Car Trouble

March 31, 2011 Leave a comment

There are three engineers in a car: an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.

Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion,

“Why don’t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it’ll work !?”

Categories: Joke

Buy a Mac

March 30, 2011 Leave a comment

Buy a Mac

I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.

I was against it and an argument started.

I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, “When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?”

And I said “See, even people who write viruses don’t support Macs.”

Categories: Joke

Speech Recognition Software Demo

March 29, 2011 Leave a comment

Speech Recognition Software Demo

At a recent Sacramento PC User’s Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down.

Just then someone in the back of the room yelled,
“Format C: Return.”

Someone else chimed in:
“Yes, Return”

Unfortunately, the software worked…

Categories: Joke

The object-oriented way to become wealthy

March 28, 2011 Leave a comment

The object-oriented way to become wealthy

– Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
– No …
– Inheritance.

Categories: Joke

MATHEMATICAL EQUATIONS

March 27, 2011 Leave a comment

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep +work + enjoy.
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women – spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys (Postulate 2)

So, we have?

Men + Women = Donkeys+ earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together

Categories: family, Joke

Great Singer

March 26, 2011 Leave a comment

Great Singer

I grew up in a non-musical family; only one of our five siblings can even carry a tune.

So, I’ve restricted my singing to private places like the bathtub or the car.

But one night, I softly sang a lullaby to my nine-month-old baby.

After the first verse, he sweetly looked into my eyes, removed the pacifier from his mouth and placed it in mine.

🙂

Categories: family, Joke, kid, kids, My Favourites

DraftSight- a free Cad software

March 25, 2011 Leave a comment

Dassault Systèmes (DS), a 3D and Product Lifecycle Management (PLM) solutions provider, on Wednesday announced the availability of DraftSight for operating system Linux.

DraftSight for Linux allows users to create, edit and view DWG files and it generally takes a few minutes to download, said a press release.

It runs on multiple operating systems, including Linux and Mac OS in beta, and Windows XP, Windows Vista and Windows 7 in general release, the company claimed.

“We’ve been working on the Linux version since the launch of DraftSight and have seen a significant rise in demand for this over the last few months,” said Aaron Kelly, senior director, DraftSight, Dassault Systèmes.

DraftSight beta users have access to no-cost community support available within the DraftSight open, online SwYm community where they can access support and training resources, along with an environment to interact, ask questions and share their opinions.

The DraftSight community is one of the first social networks designed by engineers for engineers, designers and architects. It is a no-cost 2D CAD product for CAD professionals, students and educators.

Categories: Technical

New Improvements in Refrigeration

March 24, 2011 Leave a comment

New Improvements in Refrigeration:

Refrigeration is one of the leading uses of electric power in any country. The technology most often used in refrigeration, the vapour compression cycle, is 100 years old, but still having a lot scope for improving energy efficiency. Since the 1980s, the refrigeration industry has faced pressure to improve efficiency and reduce emissions of the chlorofluorocarbon (CFC) compounds used in vapour compression cooling. Attempts to decrease CFC emissions by using alternate compounds have typically made refrigeration devices less efficient.

Unfortunately, decades of attempts to improve the vapour compression refrigeration system by reducing chloro-flurocarbon (CFC) emissions have not resulted in increased efficiency or reduced the environmental impact of the system. Typically, reductions in CFC emissions lead to decreased efficiency, requiring the use of more electric power as well as the emission of
more environmental toxins from the electric-power generation process.

Ejector expansion refrigeration cycle (EERC):

An ejector expansion refrigeration cycle (EERC) process to improve the efficiency of vapour compression refrigeration by recovering energy typically lost during the process. Specifically, the EERC process uses the energy normally lost in the expansion process to help compress the gas entering the compressor. The EERC expands the liquid refrigerant in two steps. The first step is through a specifically designed nozzle where the liquid is used to increase the pressure of the gas returning to the compressor. After this stage, the liquid refrigerant is collected in a receiver where it is metered into the evaporator by conventional methods. But industry efforts to achieve EERC had not generated sufficient pressure within the ejector nozzle to enhance refrigeration efficiency.

However, the developed techniques is only able to achieve a six-percent improvement in energy expended for refrigeration through the use of the EERC. That level of improvement was not high enough to make the technology cost effective, but, with further research and refinement, EERC expected to have a 10-percent improvement for air-conditioning and up to a 20-percent improvement for other, lower temperature applications. Moreover, more efficient refrigeration would reduce both the size of the equipment needed in the process and the potential release of CFCs into the environment. When improvements reached the 10-percent threshold, cost savings would then be high enough to encourage original equipment manufacturers (OEMs) to use the EERC process. At that point, economic and environmental spillover could be achieved.

However, scientific and technical failures prevented from achieving the performance goal needed to make the EERC technology financially viable.

Categories: Technical

Heart with mouth

March 23, 2011 Leave a comment

One fine day at school, the teacher was teaching about the heart.

After she had finished she said, “If any one has any doubts about what I have taught please ask.”

Little stands up and asks,

“Teacher, does the heart have mouth?”

She replies, “no it doesn’t. What makes you ask such a question?”

He says “Last night, when I went into my parents’ room, I over heard my dad saying SWEET HEART, Please keep your mouth shut “

Categories: family, Joke, kid, kids

3 detectives

March 22, 2011 Leave a comment

A policeman was testing 3 Dumb brothers who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second guy smiles and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!” The policeman angrily responds,”What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.” The guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the guy replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”

Categories: Joke, Story